Yes Eton is an old school. It’s where our politicians and captains of industry originate. Kind of like they are conceived there. Maybe they hatch or something.
Anyway brilliant young minds need to be fed The Nectar of the Gods, but seeing how that stuff is always in short supply the school came up with Eton Mess; its simple, and delicious, unlike the England football team which, although simple, leaves an unpleasant aftertaste – an aftertaste of miserable failure: