Salmon and Red Pesto Parcels

Too many times I go about creating some long-winded, complex creation with the intention of blogging all about it only to find I either a) cannot remember what the ingredients are, b) didn’t put the card in the camera, c) cannot even remember what it was that I created. So for this post I kept it simple – Salmon and Pesto Parcels. It takes about 10 minutes to put together, 20 minutes to cook and about 5 minutes to eat.

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Homemade Chinese Take-Away

Now this was a bit full on. Create five dishes in less time than it takes to holler ‘I’m starving, feed me noooooooooooooow!’

Holler? What the hell kind of word is holler? Let’s change that to ‘yell’. Or scream. In Hell’s Kitchen (and I would have called this blog Hell’s Kitchen if I’d thought of it at the time, but I didn’t so there you go) you sometimes have to cook fast and cook clever. Generally that happens when a) children are around and b) wine is not flowing too quickly.

Chinese food is characterised by salty, sweet flavours. It’s also supposed to be made fast.

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Shrimp Etouffee

When I started this blog, way back in 1784, I promised myself I would try and never cook the same thing twice (at least not cook the same thing twice and blog it, I mean I’m not going to try and live out a whole lifetime without literally cooking the same thing twice, that would be stupid. Stupid and tedious).

Of course I have failed. I’ve done fish and chips several times. I’ve cooked steak about a million times. I just love photographing bloody steaks. Yumbo. Never really blogged about pasta though. The odd lasagne maybe.

But generally I am on a constant search for inspiration. TV programmes (Watching Saturday Kitchen in bed in the morning is usually a good source of ideas, or anything Gordon Ramsay, like his souffle pancakes). The BBC Good Food Magazine comes up with some gems every now and then (Ferrero Rocher Cheesecake, for example). And films. The Godfather, where they make meatballs, is always a good one.

So I was watching ‘Interview with the Vampire’, with Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt. They are a pair of vampires sucking the blood out of the locals in 18th century New Orleans. And I got to thinking. What would they eat round there if they didn’t have to drink fresh blood?

So I got busy on Google (All pray to the real God) and found Shrimp Etouffee.

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Surf ‘n’ Turf with Maryland Crab Cakes

I’ve been good recently. And when I write ‘good’, I mean amazing. Like unbelievable. Saint material. Low fat, low carbs, low fun. So I thought sod it let’s be bad.

What’s bad?

Well red meat is obviously bad. And crab cakes have to be bad because they are so yumbo.

However this creation is surprisingly not that bad (P.S. ‘bad’ is defined as anything that tastes good and doesn’t leave you wanting more). The steak is fillet which has little fat. The crab cakes utilise ultra low fat mayonnaise. In fact I would recommend this creation to anyone interested in a long and healthy existence.

I’ve labelled these Maryland Crab Cakes but truth be-told I’m not sure what that means  (although I haven’t got any bay seasoning, whatever that is, and some of the crab comes out of a tin, which probably kills off any remaining authenticity).

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Prosciutto Wrapped Cod with Chorizo and Beans

Have you heard? The World Cup is upon us. I’m not writing about the World Series (what is that about, World Series, comprising the USA and Canada?) I’m writing about the beautiful game, 22 men on a pitch running around for 90 minutes trying to get a ball in a net.

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Only it’s not such a beatiful game if you’re English. It’s been 48 years since we won the World Cup. 48 years. Longer than I have been on this planet. And here I am watching a warm up game; England v Ecuador. Ecuador. Where the hell is that? Not too far from Miami I guess, as that is where they are playing. And losing.

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