Classic Banoffee Pie

One of the most searched-for recipes that leads people to Happiness Stan is ‘banana-less banoffee pie’. If you took a look at the link you can see this is not really anything to do with banoffee pie, I just like playing with words and peoples’ heads (and taste buds).

But who would look for such a thing as banana-less banoffee pie? What kind of tortured soul is even thinking about, let alone seriously considering, such a thing? Maybe they are distant relatives of the Spanish Conquistadors, who’s search for the Lost City of Gold ended as fruitlessly as their modern descendants looking for a recipe that cannot exist. Mind you the conquistadors may well have tripped over some bananas as they explored the virgin rainforests desperate for a first glimpse of Eldorado.

More likely they are conflicted. On the one hand the thought of cream, biscuit, caramel and chocolate seems like a no-brainer. However countering this is the thought of sticking bits of slimy, pale yellow fruit into an otherwise perfect creation.

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This is the Eldorado of Banoffee Pies

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Millionaire’s Chocolate Tart

(Ed. note: Eagle-eyed readers might notice that I posted this a few days ago. But I only posted the preamble rambling; I got over-excited and pressed ‘publish’ instead of ‘save’ before including the bit about the chocolately creation, which is now included)

I’m a fully connected individual.

I Lync (sic), I Skype (sic not needed as this name is some crumby attempt at a portmanteau, I suspect, something like Sky-Type. Rubbish).

I can Webex, GlobalMeet and joinme.com and I generally can think of nothing more fun than sharing my desktop with people I do not know and will more than likely never actually meet.

I have a head set than enables me to go hands-free whilst on a call and I have been told by colleagues that said headset reminds them of Rosemary, the telephone operator from Hong Kong Phooey:

Hong Kong Phooey

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Nutella Cheesecake with Ferrero Rocher

 

This is the perfect answer to those family gathering event type things where you want to take something along but know not what.  This is a no-bake, no-fuss, no-messing cheesecake, made with that most wholesome of breakfast ingredients;  Nutella.

Now, you might think Nutella is just a gooey mess of chocolate and nuts. But according to the marketing it’s a healthy breakfast ingredient. Come on people, its chocolate.

And also I might be over-egging the no-mess, no-fuss line. It is messy – making things with chocolate always is. And you have to wait 24 hours before you can mash it into your face. But it’s all worth it!

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Frozen Raspberry and White Chocolate Cheesecake – Perfect with Strictly Come Dancing

I’m watching week two of Strictly Come Dancing. (‘Dancing with the Stars’ if you live on the other side of the pond). The wife watches religiously (she was an Am-Dram queen, took the lead in Carousel, could have been a contender…but became an accountant and it all went wrong from there…)

Anyway all this means I get to watch fat golfers (and this year fat Radio DJ’s, fat entrepreneurs, fat soap stars and not-so-fat supermodels) drag professional Latvian (maybe the odd Ukranian) dancers around a stage somewhere in England, with camp judges telling them how shit they are.

Have to love British TV. It’s the best in world. And I know that’s true, because I read it in the newspapers all the time. (BTW did anyone watch Breaking Bad? That’s the best TV. Ever.)

So. My ’emotional investment’ in Strictly Come Dancing isn’t quite up there with Breaking Bad. (WTF is he talking about you might ask?). It’s TV-speak for ‘is that guy watching the show or is he fading out’. So if ’10’ is ‘he’s glued to the screen’ and ‘1’ is ‘he’s dribbling onto his chin’ then I’d say I’m around a three. Or ‘0’ when Vanessa Feltz is on.

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Which gives me plenty of time to reminisce about my Frozen Raspberry and White Chocolate Cheesecake. Another classic from the house of Good Food Magazine. You will need…

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Giant Jaffa Cake!

Jaffa Cakes. Those little morsels of joy are brimming with benefits:

  • orangey
  • spongy
  • chocolaty
  • low fat (yes only 1g of fat per disc)
  • dunkable
  • moreish

They even cause controversy.  Several years ago the tax man tried to make us pay VAT (sales tax) on them, saying they were chocolate covered biscuits (you have to pay that tedious money-grabbing con-man tax on such an item).

However McVities argued they were chocolate covered cakes (after all they’re called cakes aren’t they?) which don’t attract VAT.

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Guess who won? Why McVities. It’s rumoured they baked a giant Jaffa Cake to prove that they were just very small cakes, rather than biscuits. In your face tax man!

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