Tandoori Chicken with less than 300 Calories

Currently HappinessStan is not quite so happy. Because HappinessStan is on a diet. Regular readers will know this happens with tedious frequency. But it’s not surprising given some of the creations that appear on this blog. Regular dieting is the only thing that prevents him ending up looking like a a cut-price Marlon Brando (during his later years).

Take a look at the ‘Most viewed’ posts to the right. It’s not a sea of quinoa and green smoothies is it. Sometimes there is a pic of a Roman shield that fretful fathers have searched for at specific times in the school year, but generally its cake and meat & pastry combinations people want to look at. And that is what I tend to cook, and tend to eat.

So with a heavy heart (and even heavier backside) I have decided to spend a period in abstinence. But unlike with previous dietary cycles (where I basically live off boiled chicken) this time I thought I’d have a go at preparing genuine ‘low calorie’ recipes (Brrrr… even writing that sends shivers down my spine)

So here we go. A new series of recipes with less than 300 calories a serving. But worry not. I will intersperse with proper food, which I prepare whilst other, more fortuitous souls, eat.

We shall kick off with Tandoori Chicken. Now how can you make anything remotely approaching something that is even getting close to Tandoori Chicken with a) less than 300 calories and b) no tandoor?

Good questions.

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Take-Away Style Marinated Chicken Breasts with Tofu Kedgeree

This recipe takes me back to my time in the Indian sub-continent. My placement there, as an attaché to the chargé d’affaires, inspired much rabble rousing, and the unfettered consumption of earthly delights to be found in and around Delhi expanded both my mind and waistline.

Outwitting the outraged Lords and Ambassadors of compromised wives was as much of a lark as bagging a tiger in the dense and steaming bush….

…Hang on, piss off my blog. Sorry about that. Some ponce managed to infiltrate the safe, suburban world of Happiness Stan.

In reality this recipe does remind me of the Taj Mahal. The one down the road in Croydon, not the palace near(ish) Delhi. In classical Asian tradition it combines what we Westerners would consider vegetarian fare (in this case Tofu) with good old meat (chicken).

And that reminds me. My wife, who is well travelled (unlike me) toured the Orient some time ago, and as a committed vegetarian struggled to find reliably meat-free dishes. For example she once ordered tofu stir-fry in a Singapore street market, which sounds a safe veggie bet, and it was duly served up piled high with beef.

I’m getting seriously lost. Back to the food. Now tofu’s a funny old thing. It’s either wet and falls to bits when you open the packet (soft), or wet and doesn’t fall to bits when you open the packet, but tries to fall to bits when you start to prepare it (we’ll refer to this one as ‘not-so-soft’).

I determined to make a kind of kedgeree, substituting fish for tofu.

Then I decided to chuck in some chicken because to be honest tofu just doesn’t do it for me. So I prepared some chicken too, in the style of a Chinese Take-Away.

So in the end I created some Asian Fusion cooking which I am calling Take-Away Style Marinated Chicken Breasts with Tofu Kedgeree.

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Beef Jalfrezi, Maybe Korma, Maybe Bhuna

Maybe I don’t know. You see sometimes recipes from the web or a book are a bit of a pain in the rear. All that ‘2 tbsps of this’ and ‘1/2 ounce of that’ leads me to wondering whether the writer really measured all these things out.

I mean have you ever followed a recipe faithfully,  tasted the end result, and been left wondering ‘Did they ever actually eat this pile of crap’?

So, with a big pile of left-over roast rib from Boxing Day (don’t worry I didn’t make this creation yesterday or anything) I decided to ‘do a curry’. The result certainly looks enticing, at least I think so….

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British Empire Breakfast Solutions – Kedgeree

Way way back, when this Sceptred Isle had turned much of the World Map pink some jolly Colonialists in India discovered a dish called ‘Khichri’ which combined rice and lentils. They bought it back home to the Mother Country, adding butter, boiled eggs and curry powder to spice it up and called it Kedgeree. Traditionally served at breakfast time!

Some say this is all total rubbish and that it was actually thought up in Scotland and then transported out to India. Nevertheless Kedgeree is one of those old-school dishes that has survived the ages.

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Lamb Curry Straight Up, No Messing

So its been nearly 4 weeks without a kitchen. Living off take-aways, ready meals and all sorts of rubbish. But before we lost our hob (feels like forever) I trawled the cupboards for spices and herbs to create a curry.

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