It’s been that long since I wrote a post I can’t remember how to do it anymore. As the actress said to the bishop.
The reason I am writing this post is to have a quick rant about Panko Breadcrumbs. Which I will now refer to as Wanko Breadcrumbs (BTW this post is NSFW). I just made some Arancini. But instead of simply whizzing up some stale bread like you are supposed to , I decided to use up a spare pack of Wanko Breadcrumbs. Basically you end up with something with the texture akin to a packet of crisps. Don’t bother.
Anyway no one cares about little balls of rice covered with crushed up crisps. What people care about is Custard Tart infused with 3 litres of Bailey’s Irish Cream.
The ‘Super’ comes from the nutella spread used to sandwich the brioche slices together. The ‘Luxury’ comes from the additional slab of chopped up dark chocolate.
This creation came about due to a series of unfortunate events. Last Saturday England humiliated itself in the Rugby Word Cup, losing to Wales. Now whilst this debacle was going on, we were getting ready to meet with our mortgage advisor the next morning.
Having blown us out once already, said mortgage advisor claimed that meeting on a Sunday morning was no problem and he ‘often did it’. So, documents in hand, the following morning we prepared to set off to sort out our mortgage (oh yes, we are moving). Just as we were walking out the door, I checked my phone.
Text message. ‘Really sorry, I’ve been ill all night, can’t make the meeting’. Blah, blah. Then, rather strangely, the message ended with the mortgage advisor stating he wouldn’t be in the next day either, as if reinforcing the gravity of his life threatening illness.
Gutted. We were really under pressure to get the mortgage sorted. What to do? Well of course, make something utterly decadent. Super Luxury Brioche and Butter Pudding.
There’s a scene in ‘Monty Python’s Life of Brian’ where a squad of Israelite rebels, led by John Cleese & Co, are discussing ‘what have the Romans done for us?’ The debate centres around whether they should pursue a terrorist course of action, and everyone gets a bit stressed as they start to realise the Roman’s have actually done quite a lot….
‘…All right… all right… but apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order… what have the Romans done for us?’
Now fast forward a few thousand years.
Here we are, in the glorious 21st century. For Rome, read Amercia. Now I haven’t spent too much time or effort considering the socio-economic influence of America on the planet. And I’m not going to start now. What I will do is consider the culinary influence of America.
And they have done some seriously important things for us. Fully Loaded Hot Dogs are a case in point.
Looking for a bit of inspiration in the latest edition of the Good Food magazine, I stumbled across a Very Berry Loaf Cake, from a chap who almost won last year’s Great British Bake Off. A thing about the particular programme; it’s becoming a little, well, stale. Somewhat dry. A tad soggy on the bottom. There are, after all, only so many times you can watch someone create a Bakewell Tart.
And think about the presenters, Mary & Paul. Last time I saw it the contestants had to make a three-tier cheesecake with different cakes for each tier. There were nine of them baking so that’s 27 cheesecakes. And then Mary & Paul test-tasted them all. Blurgh.
This Very Berry Loaf Cake, on the other hand, is so light and fluffy you could eat it all day. Which I am currently in the process of doing.
Happiness Salad. (There’s an oxymoron right there). I decided I had to create a salad. Salads mean goodness. Salads mean piousness. Salads are eaten by people who want to live for many years, so they can do lots of things.
Salads also mean boring. So I turbocharged mine. There are so many items in this Happiness Salad, it needs its own library to store the ingredients list.