It’s been nearly 1 year since Happiness Stan last posted a post. I lost my mojo. Gave up. Couldn’t be arsed, so to speak. But give a guy a break. In that time I (we) have:
- Moved house (major trauma)
- Changed jobs (but not company) – even more major trauma and I still never know what the next day will bring
- Oh, and adopted some children (major total mega what-the-frickety-frick trauma)
Because of these major life-changing events (you know, those kinds of events you read about in the news where somebody loses a major body part in a terrorist attack where they refer to it as life changing but….
…I do apologise, I just had to remove the most enormous spider from our living room floor. This new house of ours is simply crawling with living things – woodlice, spiders, the odd slug, bloody birds tweeting in the garden for no poxy reason I can discern except its sodding getting light outside. And so on and so forth….
Anyway, where was I…oh yes.
…you know that actually they are screwed because now they are lacking, well, a body part) I haven’t found the time to reflect on the joy’s of cooking delicious morsels. Because, essentially, I haven’t been cooking delicious morsels. I’ve been cooking chicken nuggets and chips.
When I say ‘I’ve’, I mean ‘She’s’. ‘She’ being the wife. Now the wife has really entered Dante’s Inferno. ‘She’ was a professional. A qualified accountant. Properly well good at numbers. Now she is dealing with ‘Thing 1’ and ‘Thing 2’.
Anyone who has read Dr. Suess’ ‘The Cat in the Hat’ will know who ‘Thing 1’ and ‘Thing 2’ is. ‘Thing 1’ and ‘Thing 2’ are two terrors who destroy a lovely little home. But ‘The Cat in the Hat’ saves the day. Not in this house.
Here is ‘Thing 1’ and ‘Thing 2’.
My tranquil life of peace (and wine) has come to an abrupt end. We now have a 4 year old girl and a 3 year old boy to contend with.
Not that we aren’t used to it. We already have a 16 year old boy and a 12 year old boy. The 16 year old is now a boxer. The 12 year old is a budding guitarist (I hope, I just gave him my heirloom guitar).
Now we are are dealing with two new additions. And they don’t want to know about Chocolate Chilli. They want Chocolate Treats and Eggy Bread.
My God. What is happening? Take TV, for example. I used to watch ‘Narcos’ and ‘Breaking Bad’.
It’s all gone. Because now it’s Topsy and Tim. And Mr Tumble (that guy is making an absolute killing). And we have re-purchased loads of toy-related shit that I happily threw away ten years ago, laughingly saying ‘I won’t need that old crap again…ha ha ha ha ha…blurgh’.
It’s all come back to bite us on the proverbial arse.
By the way, has anyone seen the Disney cartoon called ‘Frozen’? I have. Many, many, many times. Many times. It’s good. At 7am on a Sunday morning it’s really good.
As Elsa sings so convincingly ‘Let it Go’. By God yes, let it go.
To cop it all off, I’m on another diet. Yes. Why not? I mean everything else has gone to hell in a handbasket so why not add another element of pain and include dieting. It’s easy. Wine and chicken nugget left-overs.
I will attempt another post.
Also if you are wondering, the picture shows the children dressed up as space people. The silver hats stop alien radio waves from destroying their brains. Here’s hoping people….