What Have The Americans Ever Done For Us? Hot Dogs, Buddy, Fully Loaded.

There’s a scene in ‘Monty Python’s Life of Brian’ where a squad of Israelite rebels, led by John Cleese & Co, are discussing ‘what have the Romans done for us?’ The debate centres around whether they should pursue a terrorist course of action, and everyone gets a bit stressed as they start to realise the Roman’s have actually done quite a lot….

‘…All right… all right… but apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order… what have the Romans done for us?’

Now fast forward a few thousand years.

Here we are, in the glorious 21st century. For Rome, read Amercia. Now I haven’t spent too much time or effort considering the socio-economic influence of America on the planet. And I’m not going to start now. What I will do is consider the culinary influence of America.

And they have done some seriously important things for us. Fully Loaded Hot Dogs are a case in point.

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Now you might be wondering whether there is anything approximating to a hot dog in that lot. In fact you might be wondering what ‘Monty Python’ is. Maybe even who the Romans are. If you don’t who Americans are or what a Hot Dog is, this post may be a waste of time…

Anyway. To create Fully Loaded Hot Dogs you will…Actually first I need to describe what a Fully Loaded Hot Dog is. It is a large pork sausage served in a long soft white roll, topped with fried onion, BBQ chilli beef with cheese, pickles, green pepper chilli, ketchup and mustard and an avocado salsa side.

You will need everything you see here (actually this picture contains items you won’t need too, e.g. wine and frankfurters. I don’t know what they are doing there):

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For the Chilli

  • One onion, finely chopped
  • 1 pack bacon lardons (whatever comes in your pack, use that. I mean its bacon, and you can’t have too much bacon. You simply can’t)
  • 1 1/2 lbs beef mince
  • 1 tbsp paprika
  • 2 tbsp chilli paste
  • 1 tbsp sugar
  • 1 tin chopped tomatoes
  • 1 bottle BBQ sauce of your choice

For the salsa

  • 8 cherry tomatoes, halved
  • 1/2 red onion, finely chopped
  • juice of one lime
  • 1 avocado, chopped
  • salt and pepper

For everything else

  • Big sausages. Pork based.
  • 3 large onions, sliced
  • 1/2 tbsp brown sugar
  • Big hot dog buns, soft.
  • French’s American Mustard
  • Tomato ketchup
  • Cheese slices
  • Green pepper relish
  • Dill pickles

First make the BBQ Chilli. Fry the onion in the chilli paste until soft. Add the lardons and fry to render the fat. Add the paprika and stir in.

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Add the remaining chilli ingredients and simmer for a half hour to thicken.

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Meanwhile, cook the onions. Slice thickly and then gently fry in a little oil in a large pan. Add the sugar and a bit of salt and leave to brown and reduce.

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Did I say the wine wasn’t part of this creation? I was wrong. Add a glass of wine to add…well something.

After a half hour, add the sausages to the onions and brown.

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Whilst the sausages are cooking prepare the salsa. There are no pictures of this stage because its boring healthy stuff.

You are now basically ready. Put the elements together on a table to enable the gorging process.

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Begin at the beginning. Get a bun, stick a sausage in it.

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Roll a slice of cheese round the sausage.

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Now slather this delight in chilli. As much as your bap can take. And my bap took a lot.

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Next the onions. Don’t hold back.

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Complete with dill pickles, ketchup and mustard.

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Oops I forgot the relish and the salsa…

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What have the Americans done for us? This. And it makes up for everything.

26 thoughts on “What Have The Americans Ever Done For Us? Hot Dogs, Buddy, Fully Loaded.

  1. I admit it, I’ve never had a fully-loaded hot dog, as you describe it. But then, I’m Canadian, not American, so perhaps I can be excused. I did, however, have my obligatory sausage-on-a-bun on the beach this weekend. I loaded it up with all sorts of condiments and lots of chopped onions, all the better to disguise the somewhat dubious quality of the sausage (which was delicious in an “I shouldn’t really be eating this but I’m going to enjoy every bite” kind of way).

    • I know exactly what you mean. We ordered some frankfurters the other day and thought they were just standard fayre. They turned up and were huge. They should have disintegrated under their own weight but those suckers stayed together no matter how long they simmered away. Mind you they didnt taste of much…

    • Now hang on a min. I thought you were in Canada. Have I been wrong all this time? Or an American in Canada. Confused. That would be like me living in France. Unheard of. ‘Cept for the in-laws of course…

      • What? Come on now! I live just outside of Boston, Massachusetts – you know the people who dumped the damned tea in the harbor (which we’ve finally cleaned up). I will give you some points though since my grandparents lived in Maine but on the border to Canada and we used to just walk across the stream and we’d be in Canada…so I guess you came close since they did speak French although the Canuck version of it.

        • Well there you go. Mind you I will never forget the moment in San Jose when I got lost and stopped at a petrol (sorry gas) station to ask for directions. The guy behind the counter asked me whether I was German. That’s like asking a Republican if they are a Democat. Seriously I was totally freaked out.

          • German? Well Americans don’t know geography never mind accents so you just need to be understanding. Long ago I was ordering something by phone from a company in California & when we got to the shipping address I told her “Berlin, Massachusetts” (small town outside of Boston). She said “Oh I’m sorry we don’t ship internationally”. Told her “Um, no I’m in Massachusetts – town is Berlin”. I really didn’t know what to say when she asked me if that was East or West Berlin so I just said “it doesn’t really matter”. Her airhead reply was “oh yeah, I think I read something about the wall coming down”. Sigh….

  2. Fantastic exploitation of a former dominion’s inventiveness. I like to lay down mashed potato on a long bun stick in some fried onions and then add a banger with barbecue sauce. UK-US fusion cuisine right there with bangers and mash American style. Also known as a cottage pie if you replace the bun with pastry and to be honest, pastry will always outdo bread.

  3. I love this post! Great pictures, recipes, and a full on love for what a hot dog CAN be! Here is Chicago, there was a place call “Hot Doug’s”, and he was a legend. He decided to close up shop last year and take a break from the hot dog business, and here is a look at my trip there…an hour long wait for some incredibly imaginative “BLT Dogs”, Foie Gras Dogs” and more!

    http://johnrieber.com/2014/07/23/hot-dog-day-hot-dougs-shocker-chicagos-hot-dog-legend-calls-it-quits/

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