Why you’d never know about Spinach & Black Bean Burrito if it wasn’t for the Wonderweb

The calm oasis that was my January has just been wiped out. The great corporate beast that I work for has awoken, akin to the dragon Smaug (that’s pronounced ‘Smowg’ btw, not ‘Smorg’ for some reason) from the latest Hobbit film.

It’s coming thick and fast.

Added to this the wife is busy sorting out our social calendar. This includes several weddings and, first time for me, a hat and wig party (I know what I’m going as but I’m not telling yet).

It also just occurred to me that I am in my 5th decade. I find this neither amusing or even newsworthy. It’s the sort of thing you read about a famous film star (e.g. Harrison Ford is in his 8th decade. Think about that, Grandpa).

But it’s kind of interesting. I mean I’ve seen out half a century, and apart from hair length and car fumes that don’t smell like they used to, not that much has changed over the years. (Well okay you can now do blogs).

But hold on there. The Interweb was created originally for the US Army. Imagine if someone had decided it should be kept a military secret. You know:

General X: ‘the population cannot be given access to this kind of technology’.

President: ‘Why not?’

General X: ‘Because they would end up wasting it on porn, writing about food and sending each other instant messages about their bowel movements’.

President: ‘That’s ridiculous, people are too busy to waste their lives with such humdrumery’.

General X: ‘Well I rule this country and they ain’t having it. Sir’.

Without the internet what would you be doing? Right now? Well, you wouldn’t be reading this drivel would you? And you wouldn’t be writing an email. Or reading the verbal diarrhoea that is Twitter.

You might be watching the TV. Or talking on the phone. Or, god-forbid, writing a letter. And if we didn’t have the internet – would we have things like digital cameras? What would be the point if the only thing you could do with a photo was stick it in an album?

I wouldn’t have 150 shots of a burned chicken pie stored on the hard drive of my IBM desk top (which wouldn’t have changed that much from the glorified word processers of the late 1980s). I wouldn’t even have one photo. No one wants to look at a burned pie in a photo album. I could go on but I won’t (thank crap for that I hear you sigh).

Which brings me, by some bizarre circuitous route, to the food spot in this ramblage. And no it isn’t burned chicken pie. In fact I don’t think I’ve ever blogged a chicken pie. Mmm…pie, as Homer would drool.

It’s something far worse than that. It’s a Spinach & Black Bean Burrito and it’s yet another Gwyneth Paltrow-inspired Gloop creation. (Don’t worry we’ve already got bored with the recipes from that site so this will be last one for now).

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It is, however, a damn sight better than the Warm Walnut Pate we tried last time.

For Spinach & Black Bean Burrito you will need

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  • 2 tortillas
  • Large handful spinach
  • Special Black Beans – I tin black beans, bunch coriander, one small onion (finely chopped), pinch salt, juice of half a lime, chopped red chilli (half)
  • 1 avocado, peeled & sliced
  • 1 lime
  • sea salt
  • freshly ground pepper
  • sour cream (optional)
  • hot sauce (optional)

Salsa to serve

  • 1 punnet cherry tomatoes, quartered
  • 2 tablespoons chopped coriander
  • 3 tablespoons finely chopped onion
  • salt
  • squeeze of lime
  • more chopped chilli

FYI – the salsa is the best thing about this dish.

First add all the ‘Special Black Beans’ ingredients to a small pan. IMG_1262

Warm until the liquid evaporates and the beans go mushy.

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Combine the salsa ingredients in a bowl (leaving it to marinade in the fridge for half an hour won’t hurt).

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Lay each warmed tortilla on a plate. Layer with spinach, then black beans and avocado.

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Squeeze on some lime over the top then add some salsa, sour cream and hot sauce.

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Well scrummy.

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Not as scrummy as a juicy steak but scrummy none the less.

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Next time I’ll be explaining how and why I fell off the diet wagon and also providing some flood-related news (for those who follow the British weather, the House of Happiness Stan is right in the middle of it!)

17 thoughts on “Why you’d never know about Spinach & Black Bean Burrito if it wasn’t for the Wonderweb

  1. You know one of our Presidential candidates lost an election partly over an internet comment…as well as lots of other rantings from the opposition. Oh, that & a state called Florida that couldn’t count ballots & an overthrow of the election by the Supreme Court. Anyway, after too much campaigning & rubber chicken dinners the guy was tired & said something to the effect that he created the internet. He didn’t mean he wrote the code – he meant he pushed for legislation & funding to get the job done. That got turned into the opposition saying the guys was delusional so you should vote for the village idiot – our very own King George. Okay sorry for that ramble…
    But I like your burrito! And we have been reading about your damp conditions over there. Since we’re due to get over a foot of snow here tomorrow I think we should all just forget about February & move on to March – see how that goes.

  2. Now see – I was told the “interwebs” were created for universities and colleges around the country to talk from one professor to another. Apparently I need to read more blogs from out of the country to get the real info! As for the salsa – I think that’s more of a pico de gallo? Either way – we’re definitely trying this one!

      • Oh – I like your version of the story better! And I much prefer pico de gallo to salsa. I had made it for years not knowing it wasn’t a salsa until I got it at a restaurant.

        Keep up the great work – you actually make meals I’d make!

  3. Your writing is great; you have a lovely, comic touch and make me smile, always. 🙂 Oh, Gwyneth… you are going to be a very svelte fifth decade-er (which, by the way, is quite young) if you keep making her food. I remember you saying in a previous post that your wife loves the vegetarian dishes. Yes, keep her happy, especially since she organizes your social calendar… wig (or whig? 😉 ) parties and such. 🙂 Really, this does look quite yummy; nice balance of fiber, protein and fat – and lovely flavors. Best! Shanna

  4. I had been wondering whether or not your feet were still dry and how you were doing since I was starting to miss your great sense of humor. A vegetarian post, quite unusual coming from you. This dish looks almost more on the diet wagon than off, actually.

    • I guess you guys are used to it but we are falling apart over here, The stream that runs past where we live is so tiny normally and now its a gushing river – road closed, fire engines pumping water blah blah!

      • We are not used it — my house has never flooded even though it’s below sea-level because we are prepared for the water with dikes, pumping stations and other Dutch engineering. We have a separate government system for water management that seems to be doing a pretty good job. Of course we haven’t had as much rain as you’ve been having!

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