What to do.
The England football team plays Poland tonight.
Win and we go to Brazil next year for the World Cup, where we’ll get knocked out in the quarter finals (probably by Germany).
Lose and we all get to watch the competition next year without having to go through the hysterical emotional turmoil of watching England getting knocked out by Germany in the quarter finals.
So I can’t really watch tonight’s game. What I will do is flick channels; 5 minutes of stomach-churning Sunday-league level soccer, and then on to the quarter finals of the Great British Bake Off, then maybe over to the Military History Channel for 15 minutes of how Germany took out Poland in WWII, and then back to the football wishing (dreadfully maybe) that the Nazis had finished the job and I could just support Germany next year in Brazil shouting ‘Long live the Reich!’
No, I’ll write a blog about Sri Lankan Green Bean Curry.
That way I can focus furiously on the preparation of sauce, vegetables and spices, look for the best photo that displays the preparation of ingredients whenever Gerrard back passes the ball to the Polish attack or…well actually Gerrard is the only player I even recognise in our current national team. (We are even seriously considering employing a Belgian national as an England player, so short of talent as we currently are).
So as the teams ‘sing’ their respective national anthems, I will set to work.
For Sri Lankan Green Bean Curry (from the BBC Good Food Magazine) you will need
- 1 onion, chopped
- 1/4 tsp turmeric
- Big piece of ginger, chopped
- 4 cloves garlic
- (6 minutes in, no score)
- 2 tbsp oil
- 2 tsp mustard seeds
- 5 curry leaves
- 1 tbsp curry powder
- Can coconut milk
- 4 cloves
- 1 cinnamon stick
- 1 dried chilli (I used chipotle)
- 1 lb green beans
- Juice of one lime
- 1 tsp garam masala
- bunch coriander
- rice and flatbread to serve
Whizz the onion, turmeric, ginger, garlic, half the oil with some salt in a blender.
(24 minutes of the game has been played and England look about as likely to score as I am to win the lottery)
Warm the remaining oil in a pan and add the mustard seeds and the curry leaves and cook until they start to spit.
(We just hit the post!) Now add the paste and cook until it all goes a bit sticky.
The football is getting seriously painful now and I am swearing at the TV (no children in sight but the wife has put her headphones on and is listening to Madonna on YouTube).
Add the curry powder and the coconut milk. Simmer for 2 minutes and then add the cloves, cinnamon and chilli; continue to simmer.
Add the beans.
(38 minutes of play and no score thank God I’m writing this post but I’m nearly finished). Simmer the beans for 15 minutes until tender. Add the lime juice, garam masala and coriander. Serve with rice and flatbreads.
CORRECTION – WE F***ING SCORED!!!!! Excellent (apologies for the profanity). Now can I finish this post before Poland equalize?
So there you have it – delicious creamy bean curry with appropriate sides. (Excuse the basil leaves they have nothing to do with the creation). It’s half time in the England v Poland game. I don’t know we’ll win (if you’re old enough you’ll remember 1973) but if we don’t, what the hell, there’s always The Ashes!
UPDATE: I take it all back, we are going to win the World Cup.