It’s 3 O’Clock on Halloween. We have pumpkins. We have fake blood. We have sweets and chocolate. And we have to go trick-or-treating. So we have to get busy. First off we need a Jack-o’-lantern (that word is not easy to type BTW).
So busy we got. Preparation is the key. Scaring children is the objective! So to get to this:
You know when you do something by the numbers? To the letter. You don’t deviate from the path. You follow the instructions. Step-by-step.
And it still goes wrong. It doesn’t work, or it tastes weird, whatever it might be.
Sometimes I actually quite enjoy it when things go wrong. Take my ‘homemade Crunchie bar’. Total disaster but much more interesting reading than if it had gone to plan. Or my ‘prolapsed pear and chocolate pastry’. Looked like it had erupted; great picture!
But for my latest attempt at recreating something I saw being made on TV, it wasn’t that it didn’t look right, it just didn’t taste that great. It was like my school reports – ‘Could have done better’.
Slow Roast Pork Belly with Lentils and Bacon ticks most of the boxes for me – I mean there’s pork belly and bacon in there, so what’s not to like?
What to do.
The England football team plays Poland tonight.
Win and we go to Brazil next year for the World Cup, where we’ll get knocked out in the quarter finals (probably by Germany).
Lose and we all get to watch the competition next year without having to go through the hysterical emotional turmoil of watching England getting knocked out by Germany in the quarter finals.
So I can’t really watch tonight’s game. What I will do is flick channels; 5 minutes of stomach-churning Sunday-league level soccer, and then on to the quarter finals of the Great British Bake Off, then maybe over to the Military History Channel for 15 minutes of how Germany took out Poland in WWII, and then back to the football wishing (dreadfully maybe) that the Nazis had finished the job and I could just support Germany next year in Brazil shouting ‘Long live the Reich!’
No, I’ll write a blog about Sri Lankan Green Bean Curry.
Sent today on an email – my duty to share and hopefully cheer you up on this crappy damp windy Friday…
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are
things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and
published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm
while the exchanges were taking place:
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.