In this wonderful Isle we aren’t allowed to shop before 11am or after 5pm on Sundays (except in little shops for some wierd reason) – even on the day before Christmas Eve.
The only person I know who still goes to church is my mother, and, given the rapture, armageddon, doomsday (call it what you will) didn’t come to pass two days ago, i doubt whether many people will be swapping a trip to the local supermarket for a session on their knees praising the almighty.
Anyway, obviously today is going to be hell on earth for those foolhardy enough to venture out. Of course there are some who have no choice. Like me. I needed brussel sprouts and I needed the ingredients for Pigs-In-Blankets – two essential Christmas meal items.
I’d been awake since about 3am since our opposite-neighbours introduced us to the concept of 24 hour daylight with their latest festive lighting arrangement (it’s getting more outrageous each year), so by 10am I was getting bored has hell:
So I headed off to meet my fate. You’re allowed to roam the aisles of the shops and fill your basket or trolley. Then everyone queues up in front of empty tills with a woman yelling over a loudspeaker that ‘Sunday trading laws forbid us from opening the tills until 11am’. I was told this about 10 times during the 50 mins I spent in there.
Women wandered around with trolleys trying to figure out what the hell to get Great Aunt Bess whilst men stormed about with a box of Stella Artois and a packet of brussel sprouts. Chaos. Oh and children screamed (why do people do that? Stick em in front of the tele with Spongebob on – probably safer).
By 10.45 I had what I wanted and stood there facing an empty till with the till lady waiting paitently, while an old codger tried to chat her up:
Then I realised how clever I’d been – I looked around me and saw the impending melee:
He wasn’t smiling after 15 mins of standing there..
So all the customers had got everything they needed and had piled up to the tills, with more people streaming in. The mother of all bottlenecks was building up nicely; with me at the front! Behind me things were getting a little heated, with some argy-bargy starting:
Looks like someone was trying to jump a queue – yes this is a queue
Anyway it hit 11am, the tills opened, I bagged and paid, and I was out of there – on the way back home the queue to get into Tesco was already backing up the main road:
And what did I go out for again? Oh, yes…
That’s it – I’m not spending another penny this year.