International Jet-Setting Cuisine

For those who commute in the 21st Century food is obviously of interest. For the British we have our beloved cheese and pickle sandwich served up by ‘British Rail’ (if you’re over 40 you’ll know what I mean). For the modern business person, commercial travel might well mean flying.

And that opens up a whole new world of business, cultural and inter-personal etiquette that leaves you exposed to a pandora’s box of surprises. Take in-flight meals for example.  Horror awaits the poor traveller who isn’t prepared:

What is that thing on the right?

This creation comes from Ukraine airlines. What, you’ve never been to Ukraine? Let’s just say they put Hitler in his place and leave it at that. Now these pictures of loveliness come from the seminal airlinemeals.net. Nothing is safe in the era of the world-wide web. Nothing.

You think America is safe? The land of surf ‘n’ turf, gumbo and pecan pie? Think again. How about an omelette in a plastic bag, served up by United:

Yum!

Actually the worst in-flight meal I’ve had was from Amsterdam to London City Airport. Shrink-wrapped mackerel. I didn’t bother teasing open the plastic wrapper. I would have had to use my teeth to tear open the packet.

But lets get back to other areas of the world. What about Asia? They know how to cook, right? All that delicious orienal cuisine:

What the hell is this then? Cathay airlines serving up something that looks like its seen too long in Grandma’s Dutch Oven. And what’s with the embedded carrot?

Well Russia must be able to do better. I mean Aeroflot doesn’t have the best safety record (they average 3 incidents a year) but the food can’t be any worse, can it?

But what the hell is this? It’s worse than something I’ve found in the bottom of the freezer on a Friday night after 15 pints of Stella Artois.

I’m joking of course. If I really had drunk 15 pints of Stella Artois I’d look like the contents of that foil tray rather than someone who was going to eat it.

30 thoughts on “International Jet-Setting Cuisine

  1. Most airlines don’t even bother to offer food. Last time I actually ordered something when it was served we were doing a lottery to see if anyone could identify the type of meat. It was like no other, lacking color,taste, texture and eye appeal. Yum. Too funny,. Unidentified flying food.

  2. Because I have a lot of serious food allergies, I always bring a sandwich and snack with me on a flight and as I look around I realize my meal is probably the best on the plane.

  3. Airlines are required to feed you if the flight is over 4 hours, but you are correct about the awfulness. Great photos and comments! How about a post on the stingy airline “snacks”, like a half cup of water and one cracker (how can they package one cracker)? You no sooner get this delight then they come around shaking the trash bag!

    • I have to admit I love Ryanair – they play a fanfair of trumpets on the PA when they land – A kind of ‘hey shit we actually made it!!! The irony was lost on those on the plane not from these green and pleasant lands

      • Yes, we are off to the north of Spain next month. Two of us return for an all-in total of €129.00. It costs that to fill my car with diesel. One needs to prepare for all their crap and expect the worst. It usually is not as bad as all that.

  4. So funny and scary lol. Nowadays in the US you have to pay *extra* for that cellophane omelet. Food on the flying cattle car is now considered optional which probably isn’t such a bad thing altho I sort of want to know what that embedded carrot roast tastes like….

  5. Love it! When I fly Lufthansa to the UK we usually just get a “sandwich”… very dense and very dark thickly sliced bread (or is it in fact cardboard), with some unidentifiable filling (last time it was sort of pastey with red bits in it…). I looked for the ingredients on the packet, and next to the word “ingredients” was a blank space….

  6. Haha! So funny! I love that website. It’s hysterical!

    And also kind of sad to think that probably every single one of those meals got eaten. I don’t know about you, but there is something about airline travel that makes me drastically lower my standards in terms of what I will eat!

  7. Ha! This post didn’t exactly whet my appetite. But yes, what mysterious things we hapless travellers are served (that is, when you’re ‘lucky’ enough to actually get a meal these days). I have had some decent meals, whether on a plane or Via Rail here in Canada, but it’s pretty hit and miss, with more emphasis on the ‘miss’!

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