Clinique Hell

‘I’m just popping into town to take a top back’, said my wife cheerily this Sunday morning. ‘Okay’, I replied, ‘See you in a bit’. The door closed and I set to work feeding the kids which seems to take up 50% of the weekend.

Three hours later in she breezes with various bags, one of which I recognised instantly. I knew the contents would feature little green boxes.

Pandora’s Bag

Now I’m not bothered about what my wife spends her money on – its her money; but I don’t get how such tiny little green boxes full of weird gloop can be so expensive. Lets take a closer look:


From what I can gather Clinique is at the higher end of the creams and lotions market. It is designed to smooth, plump, de-age, clarify, degauze, peel, tone and god knows what else. And do NOT query its magical properties. Never suggest that Nivea seems to do just as good a job. Not if you want to see another wedding anniversary, sunshine.

But here is my opportunity to make a point. Lets take another look at the large pink filled pot in the middle of the picture above, but this time from the back:


Its half empty! What a rip. I mean look at the thickness of the jar bottom and then look at the big empty space – there’s bugger-all in there. If this was left in the bathroom I might mistake it for shaving gel (if shaving with wine if you get my drift) and BANG! one shave costs £30.  Next week: the joys of throwing money at the local supermarket.

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