Very Berry Loaf Cake

Looking for a bit of inspiration in the latest edition of the Good Food magazine, I stumbled across a Very Berry Loaf Cake, from a chap who almost won last year’s Great British Bake Off. A thing about the particular programme; it’s becoming a little, well, stale. Somewhat dry. A tad soggy on the bottom. There are, after all, only so many times you can watch someone create a Bakewell Tart.

And think about the presenters, Mary & Paul. Last time I saw it the contestants had to make a three-tier cheesecake with different cakes for each tier. There were nine of them baking so that’s 27 cheesecakes. And then Mary & Paul test-tasted them all. Blurgh.

This Very Berry Loaf Cake, on the other hand, is so light and fluffy you could eat it all day. Which I am currently in the process of doing.

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Happiness Salad

Happiness Salad. (There’s an oxymoron right there). I decided I had to create a salad. Salads mean goodness. Salads mean piousness. Salads are eaten by people who want to live for many years, so they can do lots of things.

Salads also mean boring. So I turbocharged mine. There are so many items in this Happiness Salad, it needs its own library to store the ingredients list.

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Baked cauliflower pizzaiola

Baked cauliflower pizzaiola. Now there’s a recipe name that promises much. I mean pizza? What’s not to like. All those carbs. Cheesy goodness. Maybe a bit of sausage. Some pepperoni. Ground beef. A few strategically placed onions. A few mushrooms? Maybe, just to break things up a little. And of course some delicious sweet tomato sauce slathered all over the place.

Don’t remember anything about cauliflower though. Does Dominoes do that as an additional topping? Also I don’t remember spelling pizza with an ‘iola’ either. Something tells me this isn’t what I initially thought it might be…

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Boozy Pulled Beef Burgers

I just bought some still cider to marinate some ribs in. But then I decided to hell with that, the ribs can marinate themselves, I will marinate myself with the cider.

But then I noticed something. The back of the bottle detailed the recommended daily alcohol intake for a man. 3-4 units. Whats that then, 3 to 4 bottles of wine? A pint of vodka maybe? My eye was drawn to the right of this information; a small picture of a bottle with a 3 in it. The bottle of cider I was holding contained 3 units of alcohol.

So basically I could drink that bottle of cider, not even a pint, and according to government scientists, that’s would be it. No more. Risk of death or liver damage or some horrendous mental breakdown would follow if I cracked open another.

Well come off it. They don’t make bottles of cider on the presumption that you are going to buy four in a pack and then drink one. There is a disconnect between what we see and what we are told. Maybe its the Scientologists trying to mess with our minds. Or maybe its the people who run the country being as stupid as we hope they aren’t.

Anywho this caused a small flurry of debate. Secretly everyone is sloshed. The wife pointed out a friend who posted a picture of a gin and tonic cupcake. A new government survey claims that everyone who is over 40 drinks 3 bottles of wine a day and will be dead by the time they retire. So good, that means in 20 year time we won’t have to worry about an ageing population.

It won’t be a problem for me though. I incorporate alcohol into many recipes. Its helping me develop a super-enhanced tolerance which will actually prolong my lifespan.

Here’s a classic example. These Pulled Beef Burgers contain Guinness, red wine and Jack Daniels. But fear not, the alcohol boils off so its absolutely not a problem to stick four, i mean one, bottle of cider down your neck while you stuff them.

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Salmon and Red Pesto Parcels

Too many times I go about creating some long-winded, complex creation with the intention of blogging all about it only to find I either a) cannot remember what the ingredients are, b) didn’t put the card in the camera, c) cannot even remember what it was that I created. So for this post I kept it simple – Salmon and Pesto Parcels. It takes about 10 minutes to put together, 20 minutes to cook and about 5 minutes to eat.

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