Corned Beef Pie

Earlier this year we attended my wife’s sister’s wedding reception. Now this was no ordinary event; themed as a tea party it was a nostalgic affair, including cream teas (I will do one of those one day) and decor that whisked us back to a bygone era when England punched way above its weight, and, as they say, ruled the waves.

The fussy eater came with us (the older child was somewhere else; teenagers. Nuff said). As we sipped tea from china cups, and nibbled scones with strawberry jam and cucumber sandwiches, out came several enormous pies.

Now my laser-like food sensors immediately indicated that these pies might be an interesting proposition. So I was at the table they were being placed on before they had arrived.

Corned Beef Pies. Big ones. A took a large slice for me and one for the fussy eater. He liked it that much we conspired to recreate this creation at home.

Now in the UK corned beef is not the same as corned beef as it is in the States. Over there it appears to be more like salted beef. I mean it looks like beef. Over here it comes in tins (from Argentina usually) and has the consistency of lumpy pate.

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Not that it matters. This is a) Easy and b) Delicious. And that, oh wonderful readers, is all that matters. Everything else is flim-flammery.

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Amazing New Kitchen Tool That Will, Well, Amaze You

There are so many amazing gadgets for the kitchen, it can be difficult to prioritise. Is a KitchenAid more practical than a Magimix? Is a breadmaker more useful than an ice-cream maker?

My wife buys me kitchen related toys and gadgets, she like watching me rush into the kitchen with a new device and start rustling up creations. So it was with some not insignificant anticipation that I awaited her return from the Post Office with a ‘surprise package’.

I eagerly tore open the cardboard box and was presented with this.

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Take-Away Style Marinated Chicken Breasts with Tofu Kedgeree

This recipe takes me back to my time in the Indian sub-continent. My placement there, as an attaché to the chargé d’affaires, inspired much rabble rousing, and the unfettered consumption of earthly delights to be found in and around Delhi expanded both my mind and waistline.

Outwitting the outraged Lords and Ambassadors of compromised wives was as much of a lark as bagging a tiger in the dense and steaming bush….

…Hang on, piss off my blog. Sorry about that. Some ponce managed to infiltrate the safe, suburban world of Happiness Stan.

In reality this recipe does remind me of the Taj Mahal. The one down the road in Croydon, not the palace near(ish) Delhi. In classical Asian tradition it combines what we Westerners would consider vegetarian fare (in this case Tofu) with good old meat (chicken).

And that reminds me. My wife, who is well travelled (unlike me) toured the Orient some time ago, and as a committed vegetarian struggled to find reliably meat-free dishes. For example she once ordered tofu stir-fry in a Singapore street market, which sounds a safe veggie bet, and it was duly served up piled high with beef.

I’m getting seriously lost. Back to the food. Now tofu’s a funny old thing. It’s either wet and falls to bits when you open the packet (soft), or wet and doesn’t fall to bits when you open the packet, but tries to fall to bits when you start to prepare it (we’ll refer to this one as ‘not-so-soft’).

I determined to make a kind of kedgeree, substituting fish for tofu.

Then I decided to chuck in some chicken because to be honest tofu just doesn’t do it for me. So I prepared some chicken too, in the style of a Chinese Take-Away.

So in the end I created some Asian Fusion cooking which I am calling Take-Away Style Marinated Chicken Breasts with Tofu Kedgeree.

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Homemade Sweet Chilli Sauce

I decided to make Sweet Chilli Mushroom Stir Fry with Pak Choy. As usual, I gathered all my ingredients…mushrooms, rice, pak choy, ginger, garlic, soy sauce, sweet chilli sauce….

Disaster! Panic! Pandemonium! No sweet chilli sauce! None. Not a drop. What to do. Google.

Google provided a plethora of sweet chilli sauce solutions. All claiming to use ‘kitchen cupboard staples’, and so long as chillis and sherry are staple items in your cupboards, then you’ll be fine…

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Super Luxurious Over-the-Top Burger

This is a burger recipe. No big deal there you may well be thinking. But this is a special recipe. Very special. I shit ye not. Actually with reference to that phrase check this out. You either think that is funny or you don’t. If you think it is funny good. If you don’t think it’s funny then good for you.

Anyway, back to the recipe. What is so special about it? Well let’s have a look at the ingredients.

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