It’s Roman shield time. Right now, as you read this, mums and dads all over the globe are trying to make Roman shields for their kids’ school projects. There is a global conspiracy; teachers get their own back on all those parents and their horrible children by sending them home with the task of making a Roman shield.
It’s a pain in the arse to make, and what’s more it’s an expensive pain in the arse to make. But wait, I hear you holler at your screens. How does he know all this fascinating information? Is he in on the conspiracy? No. I just went through that pain, and blogged it. And since the beginning of September this year that post has been read 650 times (2,500 times in all).
I even know when the shields are being created – September through November and another peak in April and May. I love the stats on WordPress.
But, as this is supposed to be a food blog, I’d better get down to business. And for me pies mean business. And you can’t call a pie a pie unless it contains a substantial quantity of pastry.
It’s 3 O’Clock on Halloween. We have pumpkins. We have fake blood. We have sweets and chocolate. And we have to go trick-or-treating. So we have to get busy. First off we need a Jack-o’-lantern (that word is not easy to type BTW).
So busy we got. Preparation is the key. Scaring children is the objective! So to get to this:
Sent today on an email – my duty to share and hopefully cheer you up on this crappy damp windy Friday…
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are
things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and
published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm
while the exchanges were taking place:
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
You can’t get Wendy Burgers in the UK. ‘OMG!’ I hear you yell at your PC/Laptop/Mobile Device. No Wendy Burgers. No square burgerage.
I’ve always been intrigued as to why Wendy Burgers are square. Something to do with the production process. Maybe it’s because the way they cook means more succulence.
Or is it because cheese slices are square? But that doesn’t make sense; the burger baps are as round in a Wendy Burger as they are from a MacDonald’s.
I needed answers. Straight to wikipedia; the ultimate repository of useless information. Wendy’s was created by Dave Thomas in 1969. And the reason for the geometrically-even burger shape? Because he ate one somewhere else and liked it.
First thing you need are these:
These are a pair of hands of a child (you might want to keep them attached to the relevant child, preferably your own).