This is the most virtuous food creation I will blog about this year.
Ironically I made it last year, but thought it most appropriate to write about now, given most of us are weeping quietly into our bowls of whole grain green smoothie granola, wondering why we can’t show a little restraint during the festive period, in order to mitigate the feeling of helplessness that decends when the belt buckle laughs silently, as we try to reach the third hole, when everyone of those holes knows it’s the fourth’s turn (again).
But fear not. As all those cookery books, celebrity chefs and worthy websites constantly reinforce – you can eat low calorie, healthy, balanced meals that are also filling and delicious. There are phrases for those kinds of claims. But I’m not typing them. It’s a New Year’s resolution. No rude words. Trying to clean my act up. That, and whenever I write a rude word I seem to lose 10 Twitter followers. Which makes my overall follower numbers go up and down like a whore’s drawers. Oops, I did it again.
Any-who, you can get lucky. Here’s a recipe that’s so easy and quick I should have had to pay for it. Vension with Salsa. I reckon it’s got about 10 calories. Not even lying.
So we were doing one of our regular online grocery shops the other day. When I say ‘we’ I mean ‘the wife’. My job is to stick my head in cupboards to look for things we already have to make sure we don’t end up with fifty tins of beans.
I’m not very good though. Hence when it came to herbal tea, I happened upon…
The reason for the dirth of posts on this blog in January isn’t too difficult to fathom. Yes it’s time to lose some poundage, and so I am reverting back to previously unposted posts (meat, baking, cheese related) drawing on creations created during the summer (you remember summer right?), interspersed with some slightly more bizzarre ‘healthy’ dishes in an effort to maintain some semblance of blogging best practice.
Now the term ‘healthy’ needs to be qualified. ‘Healthy’ doesn’t always mean ‘healthy’. Often it can mean ‘strange’ or ‘should-it-taste-like-that?’; to expand on this last point; ‘because-if-it’s-supposed-to-taste-like-that-then-someone-was-pissed-when-they-made-it’.
You get my point. Maybe not. Maybe it’s just sour grapes on my part. But when we decided to make ‘Warm Walnut Pate’ (we’ve been rummaging through Gwyneth P’s Goop website again) I didn’t expect it to taste so…well, so walnuty.
This is why the internet was invented. If it wasn’t for the internet I would never know this was possible.
So now that I am in my 43rd year thoughts of mortality loom. Eat less. Move more. That’s the secret to a longer life.
But I might be wasting my time. To quote Michael Fitzpatrick (I’m not convinced I can work out who he is but anyway):
“The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The French eat a lot of fat and also have fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. What kills you is speaking English”.
With these words in mind I proceeded to create the most decadent dish I could think of – served with vast quantities of red wine: