Speckled Scones (Baking fail #45)

No this wasn’t supposed to happen. I didn’t want speckled scones. But speckled scones is what I got. Oh and by the way, if you hail from the States, these are biscuits.

I received a gift – an excellent book called ‘Perfect’, created by a Guardian writer who does an in depth analysis of a classic creation and then decides what the perfect version is. So I thought I’d give it a go. Perfect scones require lard and butter (not just butter) and also you shouldn’t roll the pastry, but rather flatten it by hand.

So, given I followed the instructions for perfect scones, how come my scones weren’t perfect? I will get to that later.

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Super Simple Victoria Sponge

Queen Vic swore by it. Two sponges, sandwiched together with strawberry jam. Bit of cream too, if you’re that way inclined.

Mind you, if you make this with the help of a glass of Chardonnay, be warned. Go easy on the jam and cream. It might get a little over-exuberant…IMG_9212

I’m not kidding. This recipe is fool proof. You can’t go wrong.

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Beef Cheek Chilli with Essential Sides

First some things I noticed this week:

  1. Twitter is irritating. For every person that starts following you, 2 stop following you. Actually I think that every time I write a rude word, or controversial statement, like ‘Americans are crap at cricket’ then I lose loads of followers (-1)
  2. The opinion poll industry is a load of crap too (-1), in my opinion. We just had an election and all the polls said it was a neck-and-neck race. But it wasn’t – the Tories (right wing) won it by a mile and Labour (left wing) ended up looking a bit silly (-2)
  3. I am stupid. I have been haranguing my internet provider for the last week telling them their service is shit (-2). After ranting on the phone for hours over several days I finally booked an engineer. Then I checked the back of the modem, tightened the cable and now everything is fine

These are my top three observations of the week and I just realised they all related to communications, media, online; i.e. irrelevant twaddle and no one cares.

What people do care about is food:

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Beef Hotpot

First a joke.

A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre, so the barman gave her one.

Next an observation. It’s the General Election in the UK next week. The General Election is like voting for a new President in the US, except the difference is that no one cares.

Now a dilemma. After much research I’ve realised I don’t need iCloud. I have 7,500 photographs and I just loaded all of them into iCloud. But they are nearly all pictures of me making food. That’s the problem with digital photography and wine. You end up just taking hundreds of pictures of a bowl of chilli which turn out all to look not quite right. I don’t need to keep them all but I cannot quite bring myself to delete them. I mean I could just leave them on the laptop but I…well I’m conflicted about the whole thing. I am starting to think that the ‘Cloud’ is a big red herring, it isn’t the future…maybe.

Finally a recipe.  A nice, simple, straightforward hotpot.

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Meatloaf and a Social Media Meltdown

Before I commence I would like to bitch and moan. I have been blogging for something like 3 1/2 years. WordPress is easy and straightforward. You write some blurb. Then you open the file of photos you have to hand and just drag them into the media loader.

When I got a Mac last year it got even easier. It let you drag a photo straight into the text. Couldn’t be easier. Then last month Apple buggered about with the photo app and now I can’t drag anything into anything. I feel like throwing the whole lot in the bin. But I am sucked in. I’m paying WordPress $99 a year for some reason. I’m paying Apple £3 a month for iCloud and I don’t even know what the hell for. I just paid Microsoft £108 to use Word on a Mac which I don’t need but feel compelled to have ‘just in case’.

So I can’t really throw anything in the bin. And if anyone can throw me a bone here, so to speak, explain how to make everything work nice and easy like it used to (in the good old days) then please do let me know…

Anywhoooooo. Meatloaf. Never made one but they look so damned tasty I had to give it a go…

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