Sri Lankan Green Bean Curry – the perfect antidote to the England Football Team

What to do.

The England football team plays Poland tonight.

Win and we go to Brazil next year for the World Cup, where we’ll get knocked out in the quarter finals (probably by Germany).

Lose and we all get to watch the competition next year without having to go through the hysterical emotional turmoil of watching England getting knocked out by Germany in the quarter finals.

So I can’t really watch tonight’s game. What I will do is flick channels; 5 minutes of stomach-churning Sunday-league level soccer, and then on to the quarter finals of the Great British Bake Off, then maybe over to the Military History Channel for 15 minutes of how Germany took out Poland in WWII, and then back to the football wishing (dreadfully maybe) that the Nazis had finished the job and I could just support Germany next year in Brazil shouting ‘Long live the Reich!’

No.

No, I’ll write a blog about Sri Lankan Green Bean Curry.

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Chinese Chicken Curry for People Who Are So Lazy They Can’t Even Pick Up The Phone And Order Take-Out

This is the second post in a series I am calling ‘Lazy Food’. The first post related to making cupcakes. This is the second. It will probably be the last.

A while back I tried doing a series entitled ‘Around the World in 80 Beers’. I did 8 and then got bored (not of drinking the beers, I’ve drunk thousands, just writing about it: ‘Hey, I drank some beers, got drunk, fell asleep watching Family Guy; that’s it’).

The key to creating ‘Chinese Chicken Curry for People Who Are So Lazy They Can’t Even Pick Up The Phone And Order Take-Out’ is getting your chicken to take on the texture of take away chicken. You know, all soft and wet and squashy. You don’t want firm fibrous chicken that has the chewiness of real meat.

No, you need the kind of chicken you get at 3am from the local Mr Wong after a night out, amorphous gloop that is undifferentiated from the soggy onion and floppy green peppers. You also need, and I cannot over-stress the importance of this, ‘Goldfish Chinese Curry Sauce’. You really need that.

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Beef Jalfrezi, Maybe Korma, Maybe Bhuna

Maybe I don’t know. You see sometimes recipes from the web or a book are a bit of a pain in the rear. All that ’2 tbsps of this’ and ’1/2 ounce of that’ leads me to wondering whether the writer really measured all these things out.

I mean have you ever followed a recipe faithfully,  tasted the end result, and been left wondering ‘Did they ever actually eat this pile of crap’?

So, with a big pile of left-over roast rib from Boxing Day (don’t worry I didn’t make this creation yesterday or anything) I decided to ‘do a curry’. The result certainly looks enticing, at least I think so….

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British Empire Breakfast Solutions – Kedgeree

Way way back, when this Sceptred Isle had turned much of the World Map pink some jolly Colonialists in India discovered a dish called ‘Khichri’ which combined rice and lentils. They bought it back home to the Mother Country, adding butter, boiled eggs and curry powder to spice it up and called it Kedgeree. Traditionally served at breakfast time!

Some say this is all total rubbish and that it was actually thought up in Scotland and then transported out to India. Nevertheless Kedgeree is one of those old-school dishes that has survived the ages.

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Random Red Thai Curry

When I started this blog I had no idea where I was going with it. And I still don’t. Apparently best practice dictates you have a theme. And you stick to it. So you get food blogs. You get travel blogs. Photography. Films. Books. Politics. And so on. I started by trying to be funny. That didn’t work.

So then I did a post where I made a chicken curry using a Chinese curry paste. And I got loads of likes and comments. So I carried on. But food blogs are dangerous. You eat what you make. And I don’t really do exercise posts.

So the Happiness Stan Blog has turned into a kind of food blog liberally sprinkled with observations about what is going on in the small world it lives in. It’s not an Epicurian’s delight. I cheat and cut corners where ever possible. Take Thai Curry for example. You can (and I have) create the curry paste from scratch – chop the chillis, peel the lime grass etc. Or just buy a jar of ready made and be done with it:

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