Beef Jalfrezi, Maybe Korma, Maybe Bhuna

Maybe I don’t know. You see sometimes recipes from the web or a book are a bit of a pain in the rear. All that ’2 tbsps of this’ and ’1/2 ounce of that’ leads me to wondering whether the writer really measured all these things out.

I mean have you ever followed a recipe faithfully,  tasted the end result, and been left wondering ‘Did they ever actually eat this pile of crap’?

So, with a big pile of left-over roast rib from Boxing Day (don’t worry I didn’t make this creation yesterday or anything) I decided to ‘do a curry’. The result certainly looks enticing, at least I think so….

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Man v Food Inspired Crab Cakes

Although the Hairy Bikers are my favourite cooks, the chap who hosts the ‘Man v Food’ programme on cable is rapidly catching them up. Adam Richman’s modus operandi is to travel the States taking on massive food eating challenges – like eating 7lb burgers in an hour or a gallon of ice cream in 30 mins.

Actually he doesn’t do it anymore – I think the doctors probably told him he was killing himself – so now he is going around the country getting members of the public to take on food eating challenges instead – clever!

Anyway, one programme they went to a diner where they served enormous crab cakes, and what I liked about those crab cakes was they contained crab…and hardly anything else. And they were big. So I thought I’d try and replicate.

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That crab shell reminds me of Zippy from Rainbow on 1970′s children’s TV…

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Slow Cooker Beef and Dumplings

Last week we had a family get together. Four generations, variously meat eating and vegetarian, to celebrate a birthday or two. The House of Happiness (for that is us) were tasked with bringing the meat-eaters’ dish.

Naturally I wanted to make something that was unambiguously meaty – no messing with foul or game – and nothing that could end up being tough or gristly. And absolutely no over-the-top spices or exotic additions that could surprise or horrify the more conservative palete.

So I plumbed for slow-cooker beef with dumplings served with a side of mashed potatoes – and lots and lots of it. In fact I had so many ingredients I had to go and get a great big massive pot to cook it in:

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What to cook when you roll in from the pub and you can’t see straight

Well it’s got to be quesadilla right. Of course. That’s assuming you didn’t accidentally fall into the local fried chicken joint on the way home and the kebab shop was shit I mean shut.

Questionable-biliousness, sorry I mean quesadilla, are the perfect post-pub food. No real concentration or skill is involved, you can put whatever you like in them (so long as you have tortillas to hand) and they taste great – I think.

The finished article served on an Ikea plastic plate to avoid accidents

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