Millionaire’s Chocolate Tart

(Ed. note: Eagle-eyed readers might notice that I posted this a few days ago. But I only posted the preamble rambling; I got over-excited and pressed ‘publish’ instead of ‘save’ before including the bit about the chocolately creation, which is now included)

I’m a fully connected individual.

I Lync (sic), I Skype (sic not needed as this name is some crumby attempt at a portmanteau, I suspect, something like Sky-Type. Rubbish).

I can Webex, GlobalMeet and joinme.com and I generally can think of nothing more fun than sharing my desktop with people I do not know and will more than likely never actually meet.

I have a head set than enables me to go hands-free whilst on a call and I have been told by colleagues that said headset reminds them of Rosemary, the telephone operator from Hong Kong Phooey:

Hong Kong Phooey

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Aubergine Pasta Pie

I often find myself banging my head against a brick wall. Not for any specific reason, I just enjoy the searing pain that racks through my brain.

No, not really, but it can be a bit painful trying to come up with the next culinary creation. What’s the food blogger’s equivalent of writer’s block? Constipation? Maybe.

So when I happened upon Aubergine Pasta Pie, I knew it had to be attempted (It’s called ‘Pasta ‘ncasciata’, apparently, but that isn’t important right now).

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Corned Beef Pie

Earlier this year we attended my wife’s sister’s wedding reception. Now this was no ordinary event; themed as a tea party it was a nostalgic affair, including cream teas (I will do one of those one day) and decor that whisked us back to a bygone era when England punched way above its weight, and, as they say, ruled the waves.

The fussy eater came with us (the older child was somewhere else; teenagers. Nuff said). As we sipped tea from china cups, and nibbled scones with strawberry jam and cucumber sandwiches, out came several enormous pies.

Now my laser-like food sensors immediately indicated that these pies might be an interesting proposition. So I was at the table they were being placed on before they had arrived.

Corned Beef Pies. Big ones. A took a large slice for me and one for the fussy eater. He liked it that much we conspired to recreate this creation at home.

Now in the UK corned beef is not the same as corned beef as it is in the States. Over there it appears to be more like salted beef. I mean it looks like beef. Over here it comes in tins (from Argentina usually) and has the consistency of lumpy pate.

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Not that it matters. This is a) Easy and b) Delicious. And that, oh wonderful readers, is all that matters. Everything else is flim-flammery.

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Amazing New Kitchen Tool That Will, Well, Amaze You

There are so many amazing gadgets for the kitchen, it can be difficult to prioritise. Is a KitchenAid more practical than a Magimix? Is a breadmaker more useful than an ice-cream maker?

My wife buys me kitchen related toys and gadgets, she like watching me rush into the kitchen with a new device and start rustling up creations. So it was with some not insignificant anticipation that I awaited her return from the Post Office with a ‘surprise package’.

I eagerly tore open the cardboard box and was presented with this.

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Take-Away Style Marinated Chicken Breasts with Tofu Kedgeree

This recipe takes me back to my time in the Indian sub-continent. My placement there, as an attaché to the chargé d’affaires, inspired much rabble rousing, and the unfettered consumption of earthly delights to be found in and around Delhi expanded both my mind and waistline.

Outwitting the outraged Lords and Ambassadors of compromised wives was as much of a lark as bagging a tiger in the dense and steaming bush….

…Hang on, piss off my blog. Sorry about that. Some ponce managed to infiltrate the safe, suburban world of Happiness Stan.

In reality this recipe does remind me of the Taj Mahal. The one down the road in Croydon, not the palace near(ish) Delhi. In classical Asian tradition it combines what we Westerners would consider vegetarian fare (in this case Tofu) with good old meat (chicken).

And that reminds me. My wife, who is well travelled (unlike me) toured the Orient some time ago, and as a committed vegetarian struggled to find reliably meat-free dishes. For example she once ordered tofu stir-fry in a Singapore street market, which sounds a safe veggie bet, and it was duly served up piled high with beef.

I’m getting seriously lost. Back to the food. Now tofu’s a funny old thing. It’s either wet and falls to bits when you open the packet (soft), or wet and doesn’t fall to bits when you open the packet, but tries to fall to bits when you start to prepare it (we’ll refer to this one as ‘not-so-soft’).

I determined to make a kind of kedgeree, substituting fish for tofu.

Then I decided to chuck in some chicken because to be honest tofu just doesn’t do it for me. So I prepared some chicken too, in the style of a Chinese Take-Away.

So in the end I created some Asian Fusion cooking which I am calling Take-Away Style Marinated Chicken Breasts with Tofu Kedgeree.

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