So we were doing one of our regular online grocery shops the other day. When I say ‘we’ I mean ‘the wife’. My job is to stick my head in cupboards to look for things we already have to make sure we don’t end up with fifty tins of beans.
I’m not very good though. Hence when it came to herbal tea, I happened upon…
Sums it all up.
Now my wife is a good sport. I couldn’t resist this birthday card for her, even though I feared a potential negative reaction. But she took it well…
Have you heard of War Horse? It’s a book, that was turned into a play, that was turned into a film.
My wife (she of the always original, always excellent birthday gifts), treated me to a visit to the New London Theatre (which is at least 40 years old) to see the play.
Amazing. Its about a horse and a boy that end up on the front line in World War I. The boy was played by a boy. Not surprising. But the horse was played by two actors manipulating a massive horse shaped frame; they were brilliant – they made the contraption move like a horse and you actually forgot you weren’t watching an actual horse.
But naturally this blurb is not about the play, the horse, or my 34th birthday (ha! ha!). No this was about the intermission refreshments.
Now the wife is not only an excellent picker of surprises, she also has a handy knack of picking perfect seats; right by the exit, which was right by the loos, which were right by the stairs, which led right to the bar. Perfect! And that’s where we headed at half-time. To purchase this…
We are cautious people here in this house of happiness. Well I am. The wife, on the other hand, likes nothing better than to regale me with the adventures of her youth – climbing Everest, digging around the pyramids of Egypt, trekking up the west coast of Australia, navigating the upper reaches of the Amazon (only one of these is true but there are no prizes for guessing which one).
On the other hand there is me. Steady. Sure. Not prone to impulsive actions. Age has mellowed my wanderlust (which only extended to the local pub when I was younger anyway). I have no real wish to mix with local cultures, explore strange, new worlds, to boldy go where no one has….sorry I’ve been watching too much Star Trek on Amazon Film Instant.
So we decided that we would check out cruising. Not on the local streets looking for homies to abuse, you understand. No, the water-based kind. Of course with typical practicality we didn’t just go jumping in at the deep end. No two month trip round the Cape of Good Hope for us.
Leonardo and Kate were looking forward to a beer
10 years. I’ve been driving for 10 years along the same bloody road to the same bloody office and back again. And in all that time I’ve never once, not once, complained about the arse-wipe thought police that see the solution to traffic congestion as being to make things even more difficult for the motorist.
I can imagine traffic planning meetings as being like something from the crisis meeting room in that Dr. Strangelove film with Peter Sellers….
It’s happened – I’ve gone mad with power!!!
‘Right ladies and gentlemen, the traffic situation is becoming worse. Too many people trying to get to work and go shopping. SOMETHING HAS TO BE DONE!’