I’d just like to start by saying we were shafted with this gem. On the box it says ‘New Innovation’. That should have flagged up a big red ‘NO’. I mean innovation is, by definition, new. So this thing was never going to do what it said on the can. Or box. And what is it that it is supposed to do? Grate (or shred) things – cheese mostly but also nuts, vegetables – almost anything.
Well it looks okay. Lets see what happens when you try to grate some cheese…
Not good. Not good at all. But lets be fair. Maybe the batteries were no good. So I put some new batteries in and tried again. This time with carrot:
Only one way to describe this contraption – crap. But lets be clear – we didn’t get this through the mail after watching some crummy TV ad or something. We saw this thing being used at a Food Show back in the summer. This is what we saw this machine do:
What the chap demonstrating the ‘cheese mill’ didn’t mention obviously was that it took him 3 days to create this cheese mountain!


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Your posts always make me laugh! Too funny!! I have a “vegetable-slicer-that-workds-on-tevevision-but-not-when-you-get-it-home” in my cupboard.
Its great when you find them and try and figure what the hell you thought you were ever going to do with them…
Now that was a riot. I bought a chopper that you had to pre-chop everything before putting it in & then the chopping was so random I had little bits, then big clumps.
Seriously, as I was watching the clips I was leaning forward saying “go, go, come on goooo, you can do it…”
I know it was like trying to get an old car going
You know, it sounded like one too.
It’s the slow food (grating) movement LOL
Very good! Its a cheesy protest.
Haha! That was a very good demostration, I loved it!
You should put these videos just after the commercial you saw
Thats a good idea although I;m sure they produce a lot of quality products
The problem with these ‘Food Shows’ is the number of stalls giving away free tasters of wine, beer and whiskey – this encourages random purchasing. We ended up with an array of chutneys, sauces, pickles, cheeses but drew a line at the 4 man hot tub (?)
I was meaning to mention that. We’ve got one in storage
we live just by Earls Court Station in central London, and regularly get those Home Shows…. When I see dozen of people coming out of the shows and going to the Tube carrying long “magic drying” mops and other paraphenelia in carrier bags, I know it’s that time of the year again… lots of gadgets being bought, only used once or twice (if ever) then put in the garage or the back of a cupboard and long forgotten. This one sounds just like it!! thanks for sharing with us so we won’t buy…..
The last time I was there I went to a marketing and sales expo. God it was so painful
Being “Battery” powered would be the first hint to me that it would not be up to snuff.
You’re right – that and the fact you had to cut the cheese up so small to put it in the tube thing you might as well have just grated with a normal grater
Is it solar powered too? It looks like a cell on top…
No that was the ‘button’. What I liked was that when I changed the batteries the internal gubbins fell out and I had to reassemble the entire device.
Top quality. My better half almost bought a milk creamer from one of those guys. They showed how two drops of milk could be creamed into a frothy foam filling a half pint glass. She only relented when I pressed her to specify exactly what real life use there would be for it.
I’ve never seen one of these! And if I do, I’ll know to keep walking..thanks!
Its worth a laugh though. I also saw a decorative vegetable corer but managed to stop myself…
That was hilarious. Thank you for showing us what not to buy. We’ve all bought a pig in a poke haven’t we. This one is yours. I suggest you put it in the pigpen in the sky soon.
I think I’ll keep it and pass it on as a christmas present – no I wouldn’t do that honest
Your cheese grater is similar to the whopper chopper gadgets/knives sold at the state fair. They only work for the person selling them!
You’re right the guy was shredding everything – wood and concrete too – well i think he was
Yeah – looks so easy you just can’t help yourself.
Ummmm. It will probably work just fine if you pre-grate the cheese or carrots. It might also work better with cottage cheese. Just tell me the brand name so I can be on alert.
That’s the thing I don;t think it has a brand name.
I have a few ‘buyer’s remorse’ kitchen gadgets lurking in the backs of my cupboards, including an electric grater that’s just too fussy to bother with!
Yes i am starting to think I wouldn’t have purchased it if I hadn’t gone to the malt whiskey stall first
Well, that explains it! I believe there was alcohol involved in the purchase of my ultra expensive electric grater. Those charity fundraisers really know how to entice one to buy!
Alcohol has a lot of explaining to do
I was getting excited while your site opened and no I know not to venture near the cheese mill. Thanks for the product review.
I’m not writing it off just yet. I’m thinking of wiring it directly into the mains. Maybe not…
Cheesy sparks ahoy