Celebrity Death Match 2011

If they ever bring back Celebrity Death Match, here are a few they could stick in the ring:

1. Kelly Osbourne v Christina Aguilera

In 2003 Christina (sorry Xtina) said Kelly dressed like she was in a Halloween costume and then followed it up by saying she was fat (well duh!). So Kelly starved herself, Xtina had a baby and now Kelly is laying the boot in big time, seemingly at every opportunity.

2. Jordan v Jodie Marsh

A celebrity list wouldn’t be the same without El Pricey would it. For some reason Jodie Marsh thought the world could handle two glamour models, but when one turned out to be a roughed up version of the other it was game set and match. Thank God.

3. Cheryl Cole v Lilly Allen

These two have carried on a social media based row for several years. However if I was Cheryl I would back off. Lilly HAS got talent…

4. Robbie Williams v Noel Gallagher

Noel Gallagher began a decades long feud by referring to Sir Robbie as the fat dancer from Take That – well he was at the time so what’s the problem?

5. Noel Gallagher v Liam Gallagher

Aaah…brotherly love.

Noel had the talent, Liam had the, what…looks? Anyway two egos the size of Manchester and a self-destruct mechanism built into the family genes means no one really cares but it was fun while it lasted.

6. Liam Gallagher v Everybody

Moss Side just wasn’t having any more of his shenanigans

He lives in Henley now – it’s the only town that will take him.

7. Bette Davis v Joan Crawford (Whatever Happened to Baby Jane)

These two, filming the thriller in the 1960s, went at it hammer and tongs, doing each other physical damage in the process of playing embittered sisters. In one scene Bette had to drag Joan across the floor so she put weights in her dress to make herself heavier, injuring Davis’ back.

8. Holly Valance v Kara Tointon

Big trouble brewing on Strictly Come Dancing. The love interest of the professional dancer Artem, Eastenders ‘star’ Kara knows what can happen in the practice studio and is now displaying a serious dosage of the green eyed monster as Holly and Artem boogie on down.

So who should be Numbers 9 and 10? Does Liam deserve three entries? You decide!

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